Love-Light Within Part I

Love-Light Within

 

Preface

 

     “Purple Light we all adore, now blaze within I implore. Raise joy from the start; warm my face and heart.”

     It’s March 2010, in Cave Junction, Oregon. I’m standing outside on our back patio deck looking up at the pale blue sky, framed by forest green mountains, where three lovely and majestic raptors circle above. For a brief moment in time, I let my Spirit fly and soar with their free floating and aerial gymnastics.

     I’m trying to comfort myself by searching for emotional pathways to healing from all of the overwhelming challenges and setbacks that I have been experienced in the least year and a half. But this is easier said than done.

     Have you ever found yourself wondering is there really a God? Or, why do so many bad things happen every day? Currently, I’m hurting and obsessing over the attempt of my minister and board president to have me dismissed from our church board. Let me set the scene for you a little more on that one.

     I’ve played the piano for our church for the last two years as my charitable donation. I also run a free support group called Positive Life Changes for people who want to learn the four-step emotional healing process that I describe in my first book, The Eby Way. In addition, I stepped down as board president because our minister and four of our board directors refused to move the organ down to be close to the piano where I could play both instruments conveniently. The reasons for their decision still remain a mystery to me.

     To make a long story short, I received a phone call last Friday from our new board president that a signed letter by a majority of board member would be mailed soon forcing me to resign completely from the board. I tried to point out that this action was illegal as it circumvented the church by-laws: they require that a board director can only be removed during a formal board meeting convened to vote on gross misconduct. And a special board meeting also requires at least a ten day notice to all members.

     The board president ignored my points, but did elaborate that our minister had stated she couldn’t get along with me; for the good of the church she wanted me to resign. Although I felt shocked over this revelation, I tried my best to explain that our minister had been acting very strangely the last three months.

    For example she had hung the phone up on several of our newer board directors; at least three church members complained to me about being treated in a rude fashion when interacting with her; and she recently totally lost her temper by screaming at me and pushing her fingers into my chest after the last board meeting.

     The board president persisted in ignoring my information. She insisted that I would not be welcomed at the next board meeting. I ended our conversation with a plea for a special board meeting to focus on healing all of these issues and divisions in our church.

     I spent the rest of the day angry and sad, but I did my best to pray and meditate to claim a desperate hope for some form of divine intervention. In the evening, I received a phone call from one of my fellow board supporters that agreement was reached to have this special healing meeting next week. I was also informed that the minister and the board president would apologize to me, and that there would be a mediator present at the meeting to facilitate reconciliation, team building, and over all emotional healing.

     Needless to say, I was beyond relieved and grateful. This was the miraculous demonstration I was searching for all my life to prove that God does exist, and that divine intervention can be experienced personally in our life time.

     I went to church the following Sunday happy, pleased, and humbled by this wonderful turn of events. When I arrived, I was greeted by the church president who handed me a letter with a stern look in her eyes. The letter announced that a special board meeting would be held in one week to discuss why I should be removed from the board, and that all board members would place their votes at the end of the meeting.

     Wow.  I felt emotionally devastated. It was almost impossible for me to play the piano at the church service, and deal with my anger, anxiety, sadness, and disappointment all at the same time. As you probably realized, I’m still obsessing about all of this painful drama as I speak to you in this moment in time.

     So today, I took a deep breath. I looked up again at the high flying raptors gliding and circling with so much power, elegance, and grace.  I returned to reading out loud my Purple Flame poem for inspiration, support, and healing.  I hope you will read on to learn more about additional traumatic experiences that occurred in my life over the last year in half. And most importantly, you will discover soon how I claimed our inalienable right to healing, recovery, and personal contact with the Divine.

     “I am this Purple Flame. I make this simple claim:  Surround us with your Light; glow peaceful thru the night.”